If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Also cheers for the reminder to check last night's texts. It's been a magical adventure through drunk me's thought process.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
