I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Randomize
