There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
then he tried to convert me to islam
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
