Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
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