I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
the day after is always just damage control
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Boy did I ever crash and burn on the pickled egg pick up line.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Randomize
