You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
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