Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
