last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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