this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
He told me they were just razor bumps!
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize
