gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
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