i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
