i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
