Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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