I will die if light touches me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Our new roommate is sitting in the living room wearing a snuggie and clutching a handle of burnett's mixed with what appears to be crystal light and sobbing over a documentary about a dead race horse.
I know. Isn't she utterly fantastic?
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Randomize
