dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
jump out the window naked night went bad
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
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