butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
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