you would pick up someone in the library
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
Had to have a serious talk with my liver and remind it that it is my birthday weekend and there are three more nights like last night ahead of us
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
Randomize
