It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
