Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
What's the standard Christmas present for six months of booty calls?
Mobile recharge?
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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