normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
