Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
then he tried to convert me to islam
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
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