from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
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