there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Randomize