How'd it feel making her break her religion?
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
