I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
