I wanna passion pit in your ass
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
It's OK, I woke up in a drag queen's bed last weekend. It took me forever to get the glitter out of my cleavage.
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