I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I was going to say that I wasn't sure how that happened... but then I remembered that I bonded with the Australians over vitamins and INXS and they bought me tequila.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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