Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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