hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up to both of you drawing on me in sharpie, unless a glorious threesome was had the night before that is not okay.
Who says it wasn't?
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize
