Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Randomize
