This girl is more easily done than said...
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
There is a check pinned to the wall at Connor's. It's a check I wrote for $1,000,000... To you. Clearly you made out well on St. Patrick's day. Thanks for being too shitfaced to remember to grab that.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Randomize
