I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Winning the lottery was the best thing that ever happened to my penis.
Greatest pickup line ever: "We are out celebrating winning the lottery."
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
