Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Randomize
