I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
Because making bad decisions is what makes our house great and I don't plan on changing that anytime soon.
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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