I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
