chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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