HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
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