so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Randomize