I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
This is a mass text. Surprise drug testing at work today. Either I've finally got to fuck my boss or I've got to quit to make this all go away. Please respond with option a or b.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Randomize
