So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
bro, sorry for: trying to put you on fire yesterday, telling the bouncer that it was you that broke the bottles, and to have slept with your sister.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Ladies don't puke and tell
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Randomize