My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I'm like, not good at living.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
Randomize
