Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
Randomize
