NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I can't put those talents on a resume
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
