They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
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