I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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