u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I don't think brook has ever known best
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just once I'd like to go out and not have to tell you to put your pants back on.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize
