just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You were throwing cups at people in the basement, yelling at them to get out of your swamp.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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