he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
