it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Randomize