I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
your ex girlfriend just barged in my house, drunk, mumbled something about "car strip", and put a huge hole in my drywall with her head.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
