you really are a gigantic fucking slut.
sidenote: just remembered sarcasm does not translate through text
it's probably a bad thing that i wasn't even offended, huh?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
Randomize
