hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
did she really put a helmet on, try to make a hole in the wall then pass out on the floor ten minutes later? if thats true ill be there in 15
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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