Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Hey, so I'm not coming into work til Friday. Some guy I've known for about 8 hours just offered me a free vacation to Maui and bought my plane ticket. He's Aussie so I'm 75% sure he won't murder me
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
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