How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Randomize
