I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
think before you get married my friend it's my birthday and just got done jacking off
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
He tried to brush a hair off my cheek, but turns out it was just a freakishly long chin hair. So no, we didn't bang.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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