I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
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