my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
I use my feet as sexual weapons
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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